Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
