i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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