you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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