you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
