I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have tasted many bathrooms
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize