I am puke
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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