who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
