thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
there is glitter all over my balls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize