You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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