Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
