Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
