I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
