Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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