When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
