She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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