I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize