I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
