i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
