Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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