Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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