omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
