Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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