he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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