Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
