There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
