Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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