Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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