No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
