the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
