so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
