Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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