The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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