my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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