the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
