So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
