Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
