i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
