I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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