we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
