did you get engaged???
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
