member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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