You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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