i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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