pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
