Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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