covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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