He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
