at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
