We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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