"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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