i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
