Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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