Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
