Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
