I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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