Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
