its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
jump out the window naked night went bad
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