"it" just moved
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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