in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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