Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
