Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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